I haven't been updating because I have nothing to say. Plus it's like Ashley and Rayna who read this, and I live with them...so it would be simpler to have a one-on-one conversation with them than waiting for them to read my blog. haha.
But as I am sitting here in the library working on an early Saturday morning, when no one comes in, I have nothing better to do than write a blog. Okay, that's a lie. I do have better things to do...ie- homework. But this is more appealing.

I guess I'll just do some updates...

God is pretty amazing. He takes the broken people of this sin-filled world and by His grace and mercy He puts them back together. He heals the broken spirits. I know He's been working wonders on my own spirit, without me even recognizing the wonderful gifts He's been giving me lately. Thursday at hotspot was a highpoint for the Redeemer community, I'd say. There was such an overwhelming sense of His peace and hope in the rec centre, it left many of us in tears. Personally, I had been needing that for a long time. It was so refreshing to be humbled and convicted, and to realize that God still talks to His people today. Big things can happen when a group of believers come together to spend time in worship. Sharing testimonies and things that God had put on our heart was definitely a great way for us to move closer together as a community. Sometimes even I fall victim to believing that God's the one that's far away from us. In reality it's quite the opposite. We push Him away with our selfishness, pride, ignorance. We're stubborn... I know I sure am. I try to do things on my own, and I make excuses for my sin. All sin is equal. I often lose sight of that and compare what I'm doing to what other people are doing. I justify my actions by the actions of others, and ignore the aching in my heart that's telling me it's wrong.
I might only be tip-toeing in the wrong direction slowly, when no one's watching...but the fact still is, I'm going the WRONG way. No matter how quickly or slowly I move, it needs to always be facing my Savior, not turning with my back to Him and sneaking away.... as if I could ever flee from His presence. As if I could ever do ANYTHING without Him knowing.
Yet...He forgives me. He picks me up, puts me back where I belong, and then He rejoices. WHAT?! HE FREAKIN REJOICES?! No matter how much I love someone, when they hurt me I don't really feel like rejoicing just because they say they're sorry.
My God is an awesome God. I'd give anything to get rid of this sin that keeps me far from His presence. I want to feel like I'm in the shelther of His wings daily. I want Him to be my first thought when I rise, and my last when I fall asleep.
And I want to talk about Him. Freely, openly. I go to a Christian University and still...I don't talk about Him with people. I want to talk about everything He's doing in our lives. I want to pray more... with people, for people. He's convicting me over and over to find time to spend with Him. He's pleading with me. He misses me. I treat Him like crap and He still misses me.
I'll never understand the greatness of His love and mercy. It surrounds me, tears at the walls I put up, breaks down the barriers, heals the pain and doubt. And what do I do for Him?