I just wrote a blog. It was pathetic. So I deleted it. Really I've been struggling with words lately. Again I'm avoiding and ignoring some things going on in my heart. I tend to run away from things I want because I'm afraid I'll actually achieve them.
I know, silly right. Makes no sense. But it makes sense for me. My entire life all I've known is rejection.... desiring something unobtainable, and never getting it. It's what I'm used to, I don't know any different. To actually get something I want would throw me right off track, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I've isolated myself...from my possible self.
I stand here telling people to dream bigger, and all the while I can't do it myself. I can't imagine getting the amazing things I dream about.
I need to get out of that frame of mind....like I said below, God is ALMIGHTY.
mighty over everything. can do EVERYTHING. wants to give me everything. So why do I fear? Why do I doubt? Why don't I take more risks? I'm tired of watching my life from the sidelines. I want to live.
I belong where palm trees grow <3
2 comments:
OH michelle, it takes a lot to get over that fear...but it is possible. I love you, and you are so strong and such an amazing girl! I've really been struggling with words lately as well, and I haven't written a whole lot. But there is someone who is never short of words..and you can find a whole bunch in this wonderful book...;)
Shout for joy, O heavens;
rejoice, O earth;
burst into song, O mountains!
For the LORD comforts his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. Isaiah 49:13
Chelle, we dont always need to have the words to express what were going through, cuz somteimes we simply don't. A touch, an action, can sometimes speak louder than words... its' ok if you don't have the words just say " i don't know what to say" cuz most of hte time people don't know what to say, and just seem to offer advice cuz they feel taht they have to!
Chelle I understand taht you run away from things becuase your afraid you will achieve them, but God will be with you the whole time.... like u said in ur last blog DREAM BIG, so do it! Don't be afraid, yea it does hurt to get rejected but I look at that now as that God had/has someting better planned... and NOTHING is impossible with God.... If you believe you will recieve it then you will, God will provide!
I'm soo proud of you though chelle i just wanted to say that, yu've been trying soo hard to be open and talking about things more and i really really appreciate it and I think that your doing a great job!
I think we all struggle with believing we can get what we really want..But your right God is ALMIGHTY, all the time, in everything and everywhere. I love your honeslty Michelle, I will be praying that you can live your life without fear and taht you will have courage to take risks and be vulnerable and just TRUST!
I love you sooo much and just thank you again for all the wonderful talks we've had lately.... Ur the bestest
mwah xoxoxoxoxoox
♥
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