Lately I've been writing a lot more often on this blog, but I think that's a good thing. It means I'm changing and not staying the same..which is the whole point...growth. That's why I came to this school last year, and honestly I'm surprised I decided to stay, the way thngsi were going last year...if they had kept going down that road I would be in such a mess. Thankfully something changed this year.
Two nights ago, Tuesday night, I went to the prayer room by myself because our devos we're cancelled and I really felt like I should talk to God....especially after my nice long REAL conversation with Anna about life. Anyways, when I got there I kinda just fell at his throne, and I'm not sure why. I was having a pretty good day. Things were going well with me...but I got there and was reading my devos book and listening to worship music, and thanking God that He never gave up on me when others did. And thanking Him that He was always real with me and cared, when other people seemed stuck in their own worlds, and their own problems..
So while I was there I had an upsetting feeling in my stomach, that things were not the way they should be in my dorm...that we needed to work on some things . So I said Ok God, if there's anything you want me to do in the dorm, then just tell me what it is.... use me. And I went back, and sort of just broke down..fell apart. When I had started this it felt like nothing was wrong, and then I realized that I had been feeling things weren't great for a long time.
Something made me tell Ashley that I wanted her to come find me when she got home because things weren't okay with me.. and she did. We had a really good conversation about faith and depth and lack thereof in our dorm.
ANYHOW. I think that God used my brokeness and my honesty to bring us all a little closer together, and it opened up the door for that type of conversation again.. I only wish one of the girls was around when this all happened because now she's going to be kinda left out of that for awhile... anyhow.... I asked God to move, and I think He's doing big stuff...
brokeness isn't always something to fear.
I belong where palm trees grow <3
1 comment:
Girl, you are amazing..
Ok So i've told you million times today but i am soo blessed to have you... Your words to me are like Christ's words, your actions are like christ's actions in my life.. You defintley have been given the gift of his wisdom, you always know what to say and what to do to make things better!
Change is a good thing, and i'm glad that we can experience it together.. I'm glad u can be soo real on this blog chelle, and that we don't ever leave it like this afterwards, that we always talk in person bout this type of thing, i love our talks! they move me.
Wow Chelle, God defintley used you, this week to help us realize our lack of depth and that things can be soo much better between us. God defintley did use you to help bring us all a little closer to each otehr and Him... I'm also sad about the one girl missing out, but we just need to keep praying that it will happen. And your right brokeness shouldn't always be feared, we should rejoice in our brokeneness ( hard as it is sometimes) but when were borken were able to be vulnerable and were able to be fixed, and we learn too from ur brokeness... this week has been challenging yet soo rewarding, and I hope that this continues us telling each other stuff and being honest and not afriad to be weak..
I thank God that he spoke to you and that he's working in you and through you to help things get better here.... God is good!
I love you million times a trillion
mwah xoxoxox
♥ , thanks for everythign again
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